When someone you love dies, the last thing you want to do is make decisions and final arrangements alone. If you’ve never planned a funeral before, it can be difficult to know what to do first and who to call. The good news is that you do not have to navigate these steps alone.
At Gerst Funeral Homes, we have helped generations of West Michigan families through the days following the loss of a loved one. While every family and situation is different, understanding what generally happens after a death can help make an overwhelming time feel a little more manageable.
1. Contact the Appropriate Care Provider
The first steps after a death can depend on where and how your loved one died. Here are a few scenarios to help identify who to get in touch with next
- Hospice or end-of-life care: The hospice nurse, social worker, or another member of the care team can help guide you through the immediate steps. They can help confirm the death, explain what happens next, and coordinate with the funeral home regarding transportation and the transfer of your loved one.
- Hospital or care facility: Staff will typically notify the appropriate medical personnel, complete the necessary documentation, and explain the facility’s next steps. They can also coordinate with the funeral home to arrange the transfer of your loved one and explain whether an autopsy or other medical examination is required.
- Unexpected death at home: Contact emergency medical services or the appropriate authorities before making arrangements to move your loved one. Depending on the circumstances, a medical professional, coroner, or medical examiner may need to confirm the death and determine whether an autopsy or other examination is necessary. Once those steps are complete, the funeral home can coordinate transportation and help your family begin making arrangements.
You do not need to have every detail figured out before contacting a funeral home. A funeral professional can help you understand what you may need from the hospital, medical examiner’s office, or local authorities. Some documentation and coordination may take place in the first few days after a death, so it is normal for everything to not be finalized immediately.
2. Contact a Funeral Home
Once the immediate arrangements have been made, one of your next steps will be to contact a funeral home. This is often when families begin to feel the weight of everything that needs to happen. You may be thinking about the countless details that will go into planning the funeral, memorial service, and choosing a final resting place. This is where having an experienced funeral home by your side can make a difference.
At Gerst, our funeral professionals walk families through the planning process and help with the necessary details and documentation. You do not have to arrive with all the answers. Our role is to listen, explain your options, and help you make decisions that feel right for your family.
3. Gather Important Information
Your funeral director will need certain information about your loved one to begin making arrangements and completing required documentation.
If possible, gather items such as:
- Full legal name
- Date and place of birth
- Marriage and family information
- Military service information
- Employment history
- Information about parents and children
- Existing funeral or preplanning documents
Do not worry if you cannot find everything immediately. Your funeral director can help you understand what information is needed and when.
If your loved one made funeral arrangements in advance, this is also the time to locate those records and share them with the funeral home. Preplanning can significantly reduce the number of decisions a family has to make during a time of grief.
4. Begin Making Decisions About Final Arrangements
One of the first major decisions families face is how they would like their loved one’s remains to be cared for.
Depending on your loved one’s wishes and your family’s needs, options may include burial, entombment, or cremation. Gerst’s guide to final resting options provides more information about the choices available to families and can help you begin thinking about what may be right for your loved one.
If your loved one had already expressed their wishes, those preferences can help guide the process. If they had not, your funeral director can explain the available options and help your family make an informed decision.
There is no single right way to honor someone. What matters is creating an arrangement that reflects their life and provides your family with an opportunity to gather, remember, and say goodbye.
5. Plan the Funeral or Memorial Service
Once you have made decisions about final arrangements, you can begin planning the service itself.
This may include deciding:
- Whether to have a visitation, funeral service, memorial service, or celebration of life
- Where the service will take place
- Who will participate
- Music, readings, or prayers
- Photos and other personal touches
- Flowers or memorial contributions
- Whether there will be a reception or gathering afterward
It can be tempting to feel pressure to make everything perfect. But a meaningful funeral does not have to be elaborate. Sometimes the smallest details are the ones that make a service feel most personal: a favorite song, photographs from family vacations, a favorite flower, or stories shared by the people who knew your loved one best.
A funeral allows family and friends to gather together, acknowledge the loss, and support one another. It can be an important part of beginning the grieving process.
6. Write and Share an Obituary
Writing about someone you love while you are grieving can feel like a daunting task. Where do you begin? What should you include? How do you summarize someone’s life in a few paragraphs?
You do not have to tell someone’s entire story. An obituary typically includes important biographical information, but it can also give readers a glimpse into who your loved one was, what they valued, and the people they loved. Loved ones often include details such as their family, career, hobbies, interests, accomplishments, and the qualities that made them unique.
Gerst also offers an obituary worksheet to help families organize the information they may want to include.
7. Give Yourself Permission to Slow Down
After a death, there can be a lot to do. But there is also a lot you do not have to do immediately. You may need to make funeral arrangements and notify certain people, but other tasks can often wait. There is no rush to sort through every photograph, clean out a loved one’s home, or make every long-term decision in the first few days. Give yourself time.
Grief can affect your ability to concentrate, make decisions, and process information. Lean on family members and trusted friends when you can, and allow others to help with practical responsibilities. And most importantly, remember that there is no right way to grieve.
8. Know That You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
Losing someone you love is never easy, and the responsibilities that follow a death can sometimes make an already difficult experience feel even more overwhelming.
You do not need to know every step before you contact a funeral home. That is part of what funeral professionals are there to help with.
At Gerst Funeral Homes, our team is here to answer questions, explain your options, and help you create a meaningful tribute that reflects your loved one’s life.
Connect with us today to speak with a member of our team about your family’s needs.