If you’ve walked through grief before, you are familiar with the overwhelming emotions that come during meaningful days or holidays. Grief is not a linear process; certain days can evoke painful memories or anxieties, leaving you amidst great grief, whether it’s months, years, or a decade after your loved one passed. Mother’s Day can be especially difficult for those who have lost one or both of their parents. This day may remind you that your loved one is not here to celebrate the day with you, and a flood of memories and thoughts might overcome you. It is important to remember that this is normal and you are not alone! At Gerst, we want to come alongside you and help you cope with your grief this Mother’s Day.
Be Present With the Discomfort
First, release yourself from any guilt surrounding “expected” relationships and how you deal with the loss of a parent. Grief is different for everyone. Beginning to process your pain is messy. Once you start acknowledging each emotion – grief, guilt, anger, regret, relief, sadness – your grief suddenly becomes a little easier to handle. By naming and sitting with the uncomfortable and painful emotions, you can lessen their power over you. Begin by acknowledging your emotions and gently turning toward healing strategies—like meditation and mindful breathing, journaling your thoughts, or speaking your pain aloud. These activities can help you process and release some of the tension you feel. Like anything, these activities take time and practice; some days may be harder than others. If Mother’s Day is giving you a lot of anxious thoughts or missed conversations you wish you could have with your mom, try writing in a grief journal to release those emotions and connect with your lost loved one.
Let Your Feelings Be Heard
Sharing your experience and hearing others’ stories can be a powerful way to walk towards healing. Grief can make us feel alone and want to isolate ourselves or not talk about the hard feelings, but it’s important to speak them out loud. Whether you confide in a trusted friend, loved one, a local support group, or a therapist, having someone who will listen and help you process your emotions can make the burden feel a little lighter. Listening to others share their experience of losing a parent can also reaffirm your journey and help you find comfort. Maybe that is at a support group, with friends, or through online platforms like, Podcasts, Ted Talk Playlists, and our list of Recommended Books. Whether you seek a community to share, listen, or just a space to be together, remember that you can find connection amidst your pain.
Hold Space for Yourself and Her Legacy
Grief often manifests in surprising ways, including frustration, inability to focus, loss of appetite, and insomnia. Sometimes, the psychological stress from grief can feel overwhelming. It’s important to recognize how your grief may be presenting itself and continue to nourish your body even when it feels hard.
On Mother’s Day, take a self-care day, however that looks for you! Maybe that looks like getting cozy on the couch with your favorite movie and foods, taking a spa day, or getting out of the house and exploring somewhere new. Do whatever helps you find little joys in the day. If you feel up to it, use this day as an opportunity to spend time with other important women in your life. Depending on where you are on your grief journey, honoring your mother’s memory might bring you comfort. Plant her favorite flowers, bake her favorite treat, or visit her favorite places. Whatever feels most comfortable and healing, make it a priority this Mother’s Day!
Give Yourself Grace as You Walk Your Path to Healing
Whether this is your first or tenth Mother’s Day, losing your mom can still profoundly impact your life. Memories and missed opportunities can be as challenging to process as the loss of a loved one. It’s okay to make space for this grief, and it is essential to remember that it is never linear. Choose to be gentle with yourself today, and continue moving forward at your own pace. At Gerst, we offer ongoing support through our blogs to help you navigate your journey.
