Losing a loved one is one of life’s most difficult experiences. Writing an obituary is a meaningful way to honor their life and share their story with the world. It announces someone’s passing, shares details about funeral arrangements, and most importantly, celebrates the life of someone who mattered. Writing an obituary can also serve as a therapeutic outlet during the grieving process.
If you’re not sure where to start, this guide will help you create a meaningful tribute that honors your loved one. We’ll walk you through what to include in an obituary, how to structure it, how long it should be, and common mistakes to avoid.
What Is an Obituary? (And Why It Matters)
At its most basic function, an obituary is a written tribute that announces a person’s death, shares key life information, and provides details about the memorial service. A well-written obituary tells the story of a person’s life, their relationships, their accomplishments, and the legacy they leave behind.
In addition to sharing information about the deceased’s life, it also informs the community of service times, burial details, and how to express condolences or make memorial donations. Most obituaries range from 200-500 words, though there is no set rule.
What to Include in an Obituary
A complete obituary typically covers the following key elements. You don’t need to include everything. Focus on what best represents the person’s life.
Full Name, Age, Date, and Place of Death
Begin with the person’s full legal name, any nicknames or maiden names they were known by, their age, and the city or town where they lived. You may also include:
- When and where the person died
- If they passed away at home, in a hospital, or at a care facility
- Personalized phrasing that serves as an alternative to stating a specific cause of death, such as “passed away peacefully” or “entered eternal rest.”
This can all be included simply in an opening sentence like, “Margaret ‘Peggy’ Anne Sullivan, 84, of Grand Rapids, Michigan, passed away peacefully on March 22, 2026, surrounded by her family.”
Biographical Information
The biography portion of the obituary is where you share the story of who your loved one was. Here are common items individuals typically highlight in this section:
- Date and place of birth
- Where they grew up and went to school
- Career (mention military service if applicable)
- Marriage and family life
- Hobbies and personal interests
- Faith and community involvement
- Any awards or achievements
This information can be presented in any way you desire. You can list everything chronologically or write with a storytelling style. Everyone chooses to write an obituary differently, and there is no wrong way to share the life of a loved one.
Survivors and Those Who Preceded Them
List immediate family members who are still living (“is survived by”) and those who died before them (“was preceded in death by”). A typical example is, “She is survived by her husband of 57 years, (Husband’s Name); her children, (Child 1) and (Child 2); four grandchildren ( list names) ; and one great-grandchild ( list name). She was preceded in death by her parents and her brother, (Brother’s Name).”
It is standard to list surviving family members first, followed by those who preceded them. You may include extended family, close friends, or beloved pets–this is a personal choice. In this example, the children’s spouses are noted in parentheses.
Funeral and Memorial Service Details
Include the date, time, and location of visitation, the funeral or memorial service, burial information, whether the service is public or private, and livestream details if available.
Memorial Donations (Optional)
Many people wish to offer a tribute to the family, often with flowers. If the family prefers memorial donations instead of flowers, name the charity and include a website or mailing address.
A Closing Statement (Optional)
Many obituaries end with a meaningful quote, a line about the person’s faith, or a final sentiment from the family. This is entirely optional, but it can add a personal touch.
How to Write an Obituary: Step by Step
Step 1:
Gather Key Information: Before you begin writing, gather information and key facts such as full name, dates, hometowns, career history, service details, and preferred memorial charity. Use this form to help document important information and begin organizing your thoughts.
Step 2:
Choose Your Tone and Style: Decide how you want to tell this person’s story. Some families prefer a formal, traditional tone. Others prefer something warm and conversational –even humorous- if that fits who the person was. The goal is to write something that feels true to who they were.
Step 3:
Write the Opening Sentence: The first sentence can sometimes be the hardest. Whether you are intimidated by the process or hesitant to open up a door to unwanted emotions, take it one sentence at a time.
The first sentence should include the person’s name, age, location, and date of passing. This anchors the rest of the tribute.
Step 4:
Tell Their Story: Write a few paragraphs about their life using key facts to guide your writing. While you write, focus on what made them unique, what they loved, what they were known for, and how they made people feel.
Step 5:
List Survivors and Those Preceding Them: In this section, follow the standard format to give tribute to those carrying on your loved one’s legacy. It begins with listing the surviving family first, then those who preceded them. It’s always a good idea to double-check that all names are spelled correctly.
Step 6:
Include Service Information: Make sure to add all funeral or memorial service details, including specific dates, times, addresses, and any special instructions.
Step 7:
Review and Edit: Read the obituary aloud. Check for accuracy, especially names and dates. It may be helpful to ask another family member or loved one to review it before submitting.
The responsibility of writing the perfect obituary can be a lot of pressure, but there is no need to write it all in one sitting. At Gerst, we encourage individuals to look at old photos, talk to family members, reflect on memories, and take the time to write from the heart.
How Long Should an Obituary Be?
There is no required length for an obituary. Most fall between 200 and 500 words– enough to share meaningful details without overwhelming readers. Newspaper obituaries are sometimes shorter due to cost-per-line pricing, while online obituaries can be as long as you wish. If you’re submitting to a newspaper, ask about their word limit and pricing structure in advance.
Common Obituary Mistakes to Avoid
- Misspelling names: always double-check every name mentioned.
- Wrong dates: verify birth, death, and marriage dates.
- Leaving out key family members: confirm the full list of survivors with the family.
- Being too vague: generic phrases tell us little; add a specific detail instead.
- Forgetting service details: missing or incorrect times and locations may cause problems for people who wish to pay a tribute to your loved one.
- Not proofreading: have at least two people read the final draft before submission.
Frequently Asked Questions About Obituaries
Q: Who typically writes the obituary?
A: Most often, a close family member–a spouse, adult child, or sibling–writes the obituary.
Q: Do I have to list the cause of death?
A: No. Cause of death is entirely optional and a personal choice. Many families choose not to include it. Phrases like “passed away peacefully” or “died suddenly” are common alternatives.
Q: How do I submit an obituary to a newspaper?
A: The best way to do this is to contact the newspaper directly. Ask about deadlines, word limits, and pricing. You may also contact us for help locating news outlets.
Q: Can I include a photo?
A: Yes, and we recommend it. A photo makes the obituary more personal and helps readers connect with who the person was. Choose a photo that feels representative of them at their best.
Q: What’s the difference between an obituary and a death notice?
A: A death notice is a brief, factual announcement; typically just a few sentences confirming the death and listing service information. An obituary is longer and includes biographical detail, personal memories, and a fuller portrait of the person’s life.
Q: Are there any tools or forms I can use to help me?
A: Yes, you can click here to access our form to help you gather important information for an obituary.
We’re Here to Help
Writing an obituary during a time of grief is no easy task. At our funeral home, we’re honored to support families through every part of the process, including helping craft a tribute that truly reflects the life of your loved one.
If you have questions about writing an obituary, submitting it to local publications, or planning a meaningful service, please reach out. We’re here for you.