The holiday season can be a time when the pain and loneliness that accompany grief can be magnified. November is Gratitude Month; practicing gratitude can help you find purpose and honor the emotions and memories that arise. As unnatural as it may feel, gratitude can be a powerful source of healing. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to handling loss during the holiday season, but there are ways to honor yourself and the memory of your loved one through gratitude over the holidays.
Start small with gratitude
When healing from a major loss, grief can feel all-consuming, making it hard to appreciate the little things. Shifting from grieving to gratitude may not come naturally and won’t happen overnight, but it begins with starting small. Make a list of everyday blessings like, a sunset, a cozy sweater, your favorite meal, or a stranger holding the door open for you. Being mindful of the little things that make your life more beautiful or joyful can help you work through your grief and develop self-compassion.
Write it down
With the loss of a loved one, writing a letter of gratitude can be a powerful tool for closure and healing. In the letter, you can acknowledge what you loved and appreciated about them and reflect on how they influenced you. This is a deliberate act, one that focuses your gratitude into a physical form. Once you’ve written the letter, consider sharing it with someone close to you. You could keep it in a gratitude journal that you update over time – on special dates, annually around the holidays, or whenever you need to remind yourself of what you’re grateful for.
Express your emotions
Give yourself permission to talk about it. It may seem like holidays aren’t the best time to bring up loss, but holding in your grief will only make this season more difficult. Start by leaning on loved ones and sharing your feelings, or seek a therapist or grief counselor. You could also find an in-person or online support group. Listening about others’ grief journeys and how they’ve worked through their loss can help you embrace your experiences and teach you new ways to practice gratitude.
Create New Memories & Traditions
During the holiday season, you may feel overwhelmed by memories and traditions that you used to enjoy with your loved one. Creating new ways to honor these traditions or altering old traditions can make gratitude feel more possible. The holiday season can mean a lot of time with family or friends, which can stretch our emotional capacity. It’s perfectly okay to stay home and limit your social engagements during this time. Surrounding yourself with others who can share what they’re grateful for or their favorite memories of your loved one will keep your spirits up.
Remember that grieving is different for everyone
Life without your special person feels foreign, like something is missing. That feeling will likely never entirely go away, but by accepting your grief as it is, even during the holidays, you can give yourself a chance to heal. Gratitude can follow once you allow time and space for your grief to be felt.
No matter the time of year, gratitude opens the door for you to reflect on the time you spent with your loved one while being thankful for new and old memories. Practicing gratitude while grieving is, unfortunately, not easy. But as painful as it may be this time of year, remember that the grief you experience during a time of loss shows the deep love and connection you have for your loved one – and that’s a beautiful thing to be grateful for.
Resources at Gerst
At Gerst, we’re here to support you through every step of the grieving process. From preplanning to ease the burden on your loved ones to guiding you through funeral arrangements and offering resources for coping with loss, we’re by your side. We are here to help guide you through this chapter in your life. The other side of grief is bright, and you will get there at your own unique pace.
